I haven't been doing much blogging lately as you've probably noticed. You've probably also noticed that most of my posts lately have been to direct you to a post on The Cloth Diaper Whisperer. Sorry about that, there hasn't been a lot of blog worthy things going on around here, and what posts do pop into my brain are cloth diaper related (I can't imagine why. ...) so I've submitted the to TCDW to earn points toward a gift card for more diapers. Funny how as a mother you can constantly be doing SOMETHING and yet if you are asked what you've been up to the inevitable response is "not much" or the more accurate "same song, second verse". Our days are filled with dishes, laundry, fussy babies, cooking and lots of coffee. But we wouldn't trade it for the world (ok, yeah, there's those moments you'd like to run screaming into the night, but you'd come back!) There's the special moments where you see your child growing and learning before your eyes. Those special grins. Sleepy cuddles. Moments like this one that I posted on Facebook yesterday:
Or this one, where it seems I've traded humming "I Walk The Line" or "Amazing Grace" for "Welcome To our learning farm, we've so much to show you!...".
But there's other moments too. Moments where you wonder if GOD really thought long enough before HE entrusted the life of this little person to you. Before I had kids, I was full of confidence! After all, I had babysat thousands of times, had younger siblings and had helped with foster kids! I had even taught preschool! But all that doesn't help with big questions like: when do you wean? 6 months? A year? 10 years? And once you've picked an age, HOW do you wean? Well obviously you have to start the baby on solid food before cutting them off nursing, and that opens a whole new can of worms! Pablum? Canned babyfood? Baby Led Weaning? Oh! Can he eat that? Of course in the midst of all this, jr is happily picking up whatever treasures the vacuum missed and blissfully eating those!
I try not to stress, really I do. And usually I'm fairly successful. But sometimes it gets to me. Sometimes I just want someone to hand me a step by step manual of how to raise this child. The child GOD has entrusted to my care. I guess, as long as I'm praying for wisdom, doing the best I know how, that'll just have to be enough. Tell you what though, I'm sure glad I've got Cowboy to lean on, because I often just don't feel strong enough, wise enough, to raise this little boy. I don't know how the women do it whose husbands work away from home or are no longer with us. I just can't imagine.
Well I better get busy, I'm supposed to help Cowboy move a tractor this morning and I need to get that load of diapers washing first. Enjoy a coffee for me ladies!
Come to think of it "learning farm" is kind of appropriate; Bubby is learning to be a good man, but I'm learning to be a good mom. Hmm. I might never hear that song the same again